Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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