Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize