Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
