just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
