Redeem this text for a blowjob
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
