I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize