ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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