I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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