maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
