You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
wrigley field is MILF paradise
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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