I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
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