I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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