sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
