Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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