I accidentally had phone sex last night
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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