And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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