My friends, they love my intelligence
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
