why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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