Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
