i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
