drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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