she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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