I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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