I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
