You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
