The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
