I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
