my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
