It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
