I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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