oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you would pick up someone in the library
now i know why i became what i already was.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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