we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
