the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
