Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
