I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
We got so high we made milksteak
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I think my moral compass just broke
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
We smell like vodka and hangover
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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