My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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