you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
