some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
