your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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