Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Welp...herpes.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
