If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
