and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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