Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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