Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
