you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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