your room smells of hookers.
And success
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
