I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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