I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
thus making me awesome and them whores
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It's shark week go big or go home
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize