Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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