You just made me feel so damn special
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
