Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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