What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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