I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
