Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
