I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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