Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
