There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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