im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
well you can't waste a boner
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
