I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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