worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
