i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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