He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
